Being alone without feeling lonely.

Why is it so hard to sit down and write a post? I used to do this daily.. I used to pour everything meaningless thought. I can barely keep up at posting something once a month. *smh*

Maybe it's because the days seem to be going by faster? I keep trying to cram so much in so little time. I start to feel overwhelmed and I stop doing things that make me happy.

Selfish.

That is something I am not good at. But I've had to start doing in the last 2 months. Be mindful of my well-being and check-in to myself every now and then to make sure, am I truly ok with the way my life has turned out? I have to remember that I am the one who has to wake up and deal with whatever life throws at me, if it's good great, but if it sucks I gotta be able to deal with that on my own.

Since Calvin has been consumed with his parents visiting from HK it's been weird having to run errands on my own and doing life without him isn't as fun. I can't be selfish tho and I'm glad I encouraged him to spend time with them. Next month is our 2 year anniversary. Like have I really been with this guy that long and our relationship is still healthy and going strong?! Is this an adult relationship? Well I had to learn from my toxic past and not keep things inside.

EVERYTHING we go through is a learning curve. No matter how old you get.

I feel like I've strayed from what I initially started to blog about. I have no consistency in my writing right now. But at least I'm writing.

I wanna keep living. I wanna keep trying to be that woman  I thought I'd grow up to be. I feel like I'm close to being there. Open minded, strong-willed, compassionate.. care free..

Care free.. I'm still not quite there. I feel like I stress too much over things I shouldn't be. Every day is a new day. Things can only be bad for the moment but when you step back and count your blessings..

-Lisa Marie Lim