Have Fun.

I have too much clutter in my mind. Too much clutter and not even of a creative outlook to pour out my mind. Maybe that's why my OCD has gotten so bad.. I haven't had anything to relief the build up in my mind. Last Wednesday I finally convinced myself to take a hip hop dance class, it's been 3+ years since I've stepped in a studio or learned choreography. It's been so long since I've just danced.. 

I.. was.. SUPER AWKWARD. 

I kept telling myself to let loose but I was trying so hard to the get each 8 count down.. I was thinking "OMG you should've taken the Level 1, why'd you decide the Level 2" *face palm* 

Did I learn it perfectly? 

NO.

Did I fake it likedI knew it and danced and have fun?

YUP!

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared to take the class alone.Taking those classes was something my sister and I would've done together. But ever since we parted ways from the house.. I don't feel like I have a sister anymore.. because well she's no longer that person. (I'll save this for another blog.. by writing about it a little bit I'm still letting myself heal.. I hope.) 

I feel a slight more confidence in doing things alone and just going for it. Wanting to do something and not making any excuses but wanting to do it for ME. Even for that 1 hour in the class, no one knew who I was, my dance background history, everyone was there for ONE purpose. To enjoy dancing.

No one told me that when you become an adult and get a career that it's harder to make time for fun things like taking a dance class. My mind and body is exhausted from work but I did feel happy I got to do this. I'm so bad at making time for just fun. I'm not married (yet) or have kids. 

Keep living and keep striving.

-Lisa Marie Lim