My mood was better than yesterday. I got 6 hours of sleep. I felt like I was in a deep sleep though which is good. One plus side of my anti-anxiety medication is that it's an antihistamine (I have all year seasonal allergies, it's nice to be able to breathe clearly, so at least my allergy pill is one less pill I have to take.)
I got to work, vented to my coworkers because I knew I needed to get what happened with my sister last night off my chest before I started my shift (I work in a women's health clinic as a medical assistant) My patients well being comes first before my own. I try to leave my personal feelings out once I clock in. I am grateful for coworkers who listen.
I had spurts of anxiousness but nothing I couldn't get under control with my breathing exercises. (Although I did have someone text me something that just threw me for a whirl and got Calvin involved.. anyway irrelevant. I need to move on from some people. We shared good memories but I cannot invest my time energy when other people want to make everything all about them. I live in this world too..)
When I think about it.. I don't have a best friend. I don't even have a circle of friends. I admit I've become shut off because I've been betrayed so much by friendship that I am truly tired of opening up my life to others. I'm really protective of my time because I've wasted a hell of a lot of it on the wrong people.
I got home and talked to my cousin Eric. Today was the first time I've talked to him in person about how I'm mentally struggling. He listened, let me vent. Also gave me reassurance. I'm glad we decided to take the leap and move out to live together. It's the dream since we were younger and now we are living it. Eric saved me last year.. I don't think he knows how much of an impact he did to help me out.
TOGETHER WE THRIVE - this is the motto in our home. We've grown so much in the last year alone but we couldn't have done without continuing to support, love, and care for each other. Once again I am grateful.
Although I feel like I have to really force myself to sit down and write in this blog. It's only day 2.. I can do this. I have to. This is only the beginning for me. I will recover and heal.
-Lisa Marie Lim
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